am 29, non drug user ( recovered and clean for over 9 years ) and socially drink maybe once a month, at home with friends or with my husband, nothing rowdy. ( Learned my lesson last year with a drunken charge and night in jail, so yea. ) I smoke cigs, outdoors cause that **** isn't good for little kids. I keep a mostly clean house, cluttered but not dirty. I have three cats and too many fish. lol I am married, and have a fairly stable relationship with a man who makes good money but works a lot of hours to do so. We have two daughters ages 2 and 4, and are the light of our lives.
I recently had CPS ( child protective services ) show up at my home and leave a booklet at my doorstep explaining to me I am being investigated for child abuse or neglect. I called the number on the business card attached to the booklet and spoke to a woman who explained to me we are under investigation and she needs to come by my home to interview me and my children and husband. I. was. shocked.
The woman arrived a day later for our meeting at my home. She came in and sat down and made friendly small talk until she opened a file folder and started reading off the ''report allegations''. Third complaint on the list I came to the horrific realization that my mother had called CPS on me.
Former Meth user and now abusing RX drugs.
Using adult cold medication to drug the children.
Refusing to take children to the hospital or Dr. and not having insurance on the youngest child.
Locking the children in their room for hours and sometimes days with a 'trick doorknob'
fighting with husband until police are called.
having a filthy home with animals that have never been seen by a vet.
Spanking, hitting, bruising and punishing the children.
Using 'baby gates' to lock children into certain parts of the home without supervision.
Leaving children alone in hotel rooms to go 'party'
Having large amounts of alcohol in the home and drinking all the time even though on probation and not allowed.
After the woman finished reading this to me, she could obviously see I went pale. I mean WTF am I supposed to say to this? I signed a paper allowing the social worker to look up the kids medical information through their Dr. to show they have been receiving good care. I explained the 'trick doorknob' which was the door knob with a lock facing outwards instead of in... which wasn't used to lock the kids in, but to keep the kids from locking me out. ( which they think is a great joke ) The rest of the complaints are completely and totally untrue.
My mother and I are best friends, we speak on the phone everyday, sometimes for over an hour at a time. She had just been to my home to visit me with my sister and niece the day before CPS arrived and she acted perfectly normal the whole time knowing she had back stabbed me by calling CPS on her own child and grandchildren. I confronted her about the insane and stupid complaints she made to CPS and explained to her that she of all people knows that this **** is made up. She said her therapist advised her to call and she believes every word she said. And also she said she never mentioned drugs and several other things the CPS woman had told me. I ended the conversation before I said something I would regret and haven't spoken to her in a week now.
I understand nothing will probably come of this. It is obvious I am a 'good mother' and love my kids. Our family is odd and we do things differently ( stay up late, listen to loud music, have tattoos and such...whatever ) but nobody can say we are abusing our children. I am getting a copy of the CPS report and confronting my mother again but don't really know what to say or how to go about this. I am actually considering cutting my mother off, but understand that would be devastating to all involved. Suggestions? Advice? WWYD?
Sorry so long. Had to get all the details.
CPS came by and told us that everything here was great. Kids are healthy and well fed and happy, house is clean, my husband has a good job and we seem like a well rounded parenting unit. (Yea she said unit ) And also the CPS woman told me we are so 'above average' that if they recieve another CPS call ( which will most likely happen ) she doesnt even need to come by my house, she will just phone me. I was relieved and happy.
I posted a facebook status update about CPS saying everything was fine. Of course all of my friends commented saying "duh we knew that" or "congrats" and then my mother posted this:
"kind of like with Casey Anthony , they thought she was not guilty too."
I had a long talk with my husband and decided that cutting off communication with my mother is best for now, until she can come to me with a much different attitude. ( My mother and I have a history of horrible situations like this when I was divorcing my first husband. She sided with him in court because he promised her that she would ge tto see our son. She testified in court against me and said I never took care of my kid and that she did full time, becuase I was a bad mother. I was working full time, so for her to say that is insane. I lost custody of my son due to my own mother lying about me. ) So for now I am protecting me and mine and my mother can sit and rot for now.
I am happy to hear CPS cleared you, but clearly your mom is being very childish. I hope she comes to her senses in the future.
I Cut my mother off and havent spoken to her in 2 years now we were very close but she had an affair and took off to a different country before confessing. It wasnt easy, your mum sounds like she has issues and it doesnt sound like her therepy is helping. I think you should distance yourself and family from her but not cut her off. dont let her in the house meet in public places instead this way she cant do anything stupid like this again. I just think cutting off the kids from there grandparent would be difficult for them to understand.
hope that helps