Mohawks Rock

Not that there is such a definition of punk, I am called one. I am an anarchist and obviously have a mohawk. Recently I have been criticized because I rent an apartment in the East Village off St. Mark's Place. They criticize me because I am not a squatter. The only reason that I live in the East Village is because I do freelance computer repair and make enough to pay the rent. I am not forced to squat. But I know that I am not the only punk rocker who pays rent, because paying rent to me is not voiding my beliefs and values. I even know many punks who live at home or an apartment. So could anyone on this website please enlighten me and tell me why I am criticized. Most squatters to my knowledge are crusties, but I don't think that anyone needs to say anything to me because I am more of a street punk than a crustie.
Any answer would be appreciated.

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I think that both of your posts were very eloquent and I thank you for them.
I don't think we were using the same terminology when talking about squatting. To me a squatter is just a dude living in some vacant place, but a lot of the squatting you're talking about seem like (or are) collectives. I did not know or understand the full scope of squatting and I'm glad that you educated me about it.

And when I said that your spot would be easily filled I was talking about a situation where a few people squat for the sake of squatting, in some way that is not inteneded to lead to social or cultural discourse, or some sort of change, just squatting for themselves. And even if the value of squatting was minimal I would still say do it, but I feel that if squatters are just hanging out all day drinking and doing random ass drugs, like some crusties I know that can't even hold a coherent chain of thoughts together, much less speak or communicate well anymore, then it's pointless because that same strung out crusty could be more helpful in other ways.

Yes I am against 'division by tactics" as it was eloquently put but I don't believe that a war MUST be fought on ALL fronts. There IS something to be said about dividing and conquering and the most successful revolutions in history have been accomplished by people graduall waging war on a few fronts and then escalating. Not casting a wide net and spreading themselves so thin that their efforts have little more impact than inspiring a few other people to aid in the futility.

You are well spoken and knowledgable, perhaps if you made a personal sacrifice and showered and bought a suit or something you could help to educate people that are not as informed as you but would have reservations about a guy that dumpsters dives and doesn't smell like irish springs. No I do not believe that this is how it should be, but I believe that some people are underusing their potential by choosing a lifestyle that is personally beneficial and fulfilling, but counterproductive to a larger movement, because they could be much more helpful in other ways.

Now I do not know that you DON'T walk up to people and help to educate them etc... but here you're preaching to the converted. I guess you could help in a lot of other ways, printing / distributing literature, talking with other likeminded people. But I feel like Crusties seal themselves off from the world and though they may communicate with other people on collectives/ crusties I don't know that many of them couldn't be more effective in other ways.

And I'm not trying to be petty, but just because something is illegal, it doesn't mean that it was outlawed because it would encourage social / political change, THOUGH things that are likely to cause change are often illegal, it's more about things that would hurt the structures in place and of course, ANY reasonably sturdy structure will have those safeguards in place to protect and perpetuate itself.

And also, not to jude you, many medications are very helpful, I don't think that cutting out are pharmaceuticals is neccesarily beneficial. No doubt, pharma companies may not make the MOST efficient drugs, or may not make sincere efforts to actually cure certain diseases because their is so much money to be made in the treatment, but I know that many of them are helpful and allow people to live life. Living in a collective and sorting things out your way works for you, but I know bipolar people etc... that have a lot of trouble functioning and say they were helped by medications. Though it is of course possible that there is some alternative treatment that could be personally useful to them.
I believe that blatant arguing without a solid form on ones thoughts really solves nothing ya know? So i do try to be eloquent and explain as much as I can and try to come off as collected and not agitated or trying to provoke which can be hard when you mix cyber communication and a natural response in ourselves to be defensive.

I think a lot of peoples info on squatting is pretty limited and honestly, with the likes of such people like you mentioned who are always drunk or high, they really do not do anything to help social change and are counterproductive. Me being straight edge, I do not see the point personally of being that fucked up all the time. I guess it is a symptom of greater social despondency with people just wanting to escape the shit. Either way, I personally do not agree with it and though they certainly are free to do such things, they do bring a lot of negative attention and attitudes (which are not needed) to squatting as a social action.

The point of division on fronts is a good one and I have done a lot of thinking on this. Coming from a martial arts background you realize that if you fight more than one person (fronts) physically you can only effectively attack one at a time. If you try to strike both at once you weaken yourself somewhat no matter how strong you do it and whether or not you succeed. I used to apply this concept to social struggle and thought if all people could concentrate on one thing we would be better off. I think there is a big difference though between physical warfare and conflict which in a revolutionary context we are not in, compared to social warfare which we are in the thick of. To clarify what I meant with all fronts is that there are so many issues to be tackled, some related directly, and more related a bit mroe subtly, but all stemming from one root. There are so many people involved with their own unique experiences and goals that though they support the other causes as well, they focus on the one closest to them. Some battle gender roles and sexism, some battle racism, some fight for the earth and animals, and you then have people that take on all comers and I think currently this is good. We have people who militantly squat, some who travel across the country to be a part of mass movements wherever they are, some doing work with ARA etc etc etc. I do believe like I said though that there is mutual affinity between all these groups whether they say it officially but if shots broke out and an armed struggle ensued, I believe all the factions would untie to battle against the one perpetrator of all the shit we battle.

So yes I agree ultimately that in a physical conflict, things must be a bit tighter and focused and I believe they would be when it comes down to it. Can be seen if you look back over the past decade even...like Seattle WTO protest, or any other major protest where all the causes come together to form one front.

Preaching to the converted is certainly an issue to always think about and think about how to get the ideas out to others. Then again, just because a person is a punk or involved in activism, doesn't mean they always know things =) Always more to learn. I take no offense to your remark and certainly understand where you come from and I do see that. I refuse however to compromise on things like that, get the job etc and prefer to get my ideas and points to the "unconverted" through other means. Stickers, lit distro at shows and non-shows such as leaving reading material at bus stops, libraries, restaurants, colleges, mail boxes, book drops, and anywhere else somebody will have to interact with it in some way. beyond that there is petty vandalism/tagging/stenciling, writing and posting on forums, and perhaps my biggest way, is transcending the norm of industrial/noise and bringing a revolutionary/radical/anarchist lifestyle to it. Perhaps not the largest audience but we each do what we can and if one person gets interested because of something I said in a performance, then it has not failed. And thus far, it has done anything but fail =)

Certainly though your right that toning down appearance and getting more into their social environments may gain more of an audience for the ideas and getting them to people who are not aware but it could also be the biggest waste of time as well and me personally refuse to fuel that idea that if the person looks liek a bum then they are shit. I am dedicated to smashing stereotypes as a belief system. I look like a punk, a thug you see in every 80's movie, smell pretty bad, and do not give a shit about social etiquette. However, I have never been arrested, never been drunk or high, and am one of the most soft spoken and compassionate people you could interact with. It challenges other peoples perceptions and for me it is much more rewarding to see a young kid come up to me and talk to me despite their parents wishes and then I am very nice to the kid and smile and laugh with them. It makes the parents eat it and hopefulyl reconsider their thought process.

Petty and illegal statement...for sure =) I just find the quote entertaining and a semblance of truth. Surely it makes a blanket statement of absolutes and absolutes are quite non-existent.

medications. Again, for sure I agree and I take no judgment because I know my story which I will share a bit more of to clarify. First, some people DO benefit from meds and I was not trying to make a stance otherwise or say they never help. One of my greatest friends is schizophrenic and he is one an anti psychotic med and it does help keep him straight. When he gets off, he gets very bad and ends up in the hospital. My mother battles depression as well and she too gets some relief from medicines.

I think what I realized over the course of my "illness" is that there may be a different approach and relevancy of meds when dealing with more emotionally triggered things like depression or BPD. I have to work on elaborating this theory but I will explain the best I can for now. I was on meds for years. After about 5 years of gaining a lot of weight (almost 100 pounds) constant fatigue or sleep, and no relief from the symptoms they were supposed to alleviate, I decided I was gonna change it. I knew a lot of my episodes were environmentally related to my horrible relationship, and what happened to me growing up. Meds were not going to make those going away, only doing a lot of thinking and then hard work to understand what happened in me, why it happened, and then dedicating to fix it so others wont have to take such shit. I worked on it and 2 years after starting the really hard work I am still working on it and I have not been happier ever in my life. I keep working on my own trains of thought and trying to break down the walls that would perpetuate me getting into those ways. Working on communicating problems to people that do care about me, not being afraid to ask for help or accept it etc. Constant battle for sure.

This is just my personal experience and surely it is not the same for everyone or maybe anyone. I think perhaps that people who have psych problems that are more genetic based rather than trauma based, have more success with meds. When you have decades of physical and emotional abuse, meds do not make that go away unfortunately. I believe that is why I am at odds with a lot of the mental health industry. Pills are seen as miracle cure and on a few occasions are, but certainly not all.

But yes surely meds do help some because I can testify on the behalf of somebody that does get help from them. Within days you can tell if he is off of them and it is sad =(
I must admit, I once had social anxiety disorder, but I recovered on my own. Basically, I didn't use any medications and I just traveled a lot and decided to live in the largest city on the east coast. Needless to say I recovered. I actually just drove down to Philadelphia to see Rancid (all the nyc shows sold out quickly) and I felt fine going there by myself.

Also in terms of activism, I think that I am currently fighting off the continuing gentrification of nyc's east village by living there (and not paying much) and by keeping the culture and way of life that I love alive.

On a side note, I have proof that calm and collective informative tactics work. For example, on thursday I was fixing a woman's computer and we started talking about politics. I told her that I was an anarchist and she wanted to know more about that. I told her as much as I could in a short amount of time and she calmly listened to me and understood what I was saying. I think this goes to show that talking calmly has more benefits than violence when it comes to informing people about an ideology.

Just some thoughts=)

Also I am glad that you promote people to step out of comfort zones. It really does make life more interesting. I would know=)
that is good that you beat your social anxiety. It is really fuckin hard to do and when your doing it, it can be really scary. I remember when I would have to play shows in the city, or there would be shows I wanted to go to, I would barely sleep for about 2 weeks prior. I would constantly be turning thoughts in my head of all the what ifs and all the shit I thought could go wrong. From being mugged, to fiery car crashes, to car jacking, to being killed. It was the hardest thing to do for me to NOT cancel my show or to not go the show. Up until recently I always avoided major highways. Anything more than 2 lanes and I got nerved up BAD. Now I am gonna travel down to Pittsburgh and really am not too freaked about it.

Agreed completely that being confrontational with people is not the best way to get ideas to be considered. Being polite about them and also demonstrating them in everyday life helps to..in non violent ways of course. Things like the Really, Really Free Market that take place in cities, or Food Not Bombs, or simply pointing out how things like sewing circles or movie nights with friends can be anarchy in action with one person bringing movie, one supplying the place, one getting food, one getting drinks etc. People doing things on their own and hammering out the details through consensus and bargaining and harmony. Mutual aid takes place in our lives on a regular basis and that is anarchist action but most people do not know that =)

keep life interesting friend!

=)
I'm not trying to pry into personal matters, but how did your anxieties arise in the first place?

For me, it happened in high school. No one talked to me, I spent all my time alone, and I was constantly picked on, and I was even sexually harassed. I don't plan to go into the details of that, but it fucked me up. So I decided to move to nyc and my life was never better, as I mentioned before. Now, I hold random conservations with people on the subway, I can go to a show by myself, I am even learning to play guitar, so I can start playing in a friend's band.

But I have never felt better now that I have got my life straightened out.

I have diverted my attention too much. I have to get back to work on my latest acquisition. A friend gave me a vintage 1976 Sansui QRX-7001 quadrophonic receiver, and I need to replace a few capacitors.

Anyway, I guess that I wanted you to know that your are not and will never be alone in you struggles. Remember that and try to enjoy your life to the fullest =)
I do not mind the "prying" I genuinely am thankful in a way when people are interested or have shared some kindred experience in it. I have never been shy about talking about anything I went through to anybody who really wants to sit down and hear it. I am almost 28 now and frankly, about 20 of those years were very miserable.

Like you, I was picked on...very extremely. First by my brother who is 6 years older than me. He is gay and us growing up in a very uptight town HE took a lot of shit from people in school and it just transferred to me. We had a violent relationship at times...he choked me once and I almost died...I pointed gun at him with intent another time...when it all ended we loved each other and still do and we are really cool now...I know the psychology of it now ya know? But when your 7 and your big brother that you look up to almost kills you and constantly picks on you, it fucks with you.

After that, in school around 7th grade somebody decided to say I tried raping them. This person was a male and immediately the onslaught of faggot started and any friends I had jumped ship and went on the band wagon to avoid any form of persecution. This shit escalated to the point of me being beaten regularly in school, constantly harassed, having no friends, being beat on and one time even pissed on after such an event, getting a finger broken in school, and over the 5 or 6 years this went on the police and school admins refusing to acknowledge it. I started karate when I was 13 to try to stop it but I really believed in pacifism. Finally in 10th grade I think it was, I finally smashed this kids face in during lunch when he wouldn't shut up. The next day, he wouldn't shut up again so I repeated the action and got in his face telling him to either shut the fuck up, or get up and back it up. He did not get up and after that, nobody did.

After that, it became the admin fucking with me in ways. Obviously different than al the normal kids in the school, I often wore black, a lot of chains, listened to extreme music etc and after Columbine myself and a friend were always pinned as a threat. Anything that happened in our school was us without question.

In the mix of all that shit over the years, I was sexually abused at the age of 10 and again though more consensual at the age of 14 (that situation was not forced but very fucking awkward that a child should not be put in. At the time, it was harmless to me but when I look back on it now, it was not right.)

As for travel anxiety, I really do not know where it came from. I drove all the time before. Drove to Buffalo and Rochester almost routinely, drove to Toronto, drove across Canada with my father to the eastern maritime provice of Nova Scotia, drove back across and into Montreal, and then back. Was fine the entire time. Never had a nervousness about it.

Then one night I was picking up my friends in downtown Buffalo and we drove to a suburb for some dinner and then came back into the city later. There was a detour and I missed a turn and ended up in unknown territory and something changed in me at that very moment. I was very panicked at the idea of being lost in a bad neighborhood with fires burning in barrels etc. I had been in them all the time before, my first show I ever played was in West Buffalo in a really sketchy neighborhood and was never bothered. But something that night consumed me and I do not understand how or why it happened but it did and it sucked =(

To be afraid of something you did regularly with no harm ever was the worst thing to happen to me at that time. I saw my friends there much less for years, was trapped in a horribly emotionally abusive marriage, and generally it all just blew badly.

but i refused to live like that and kept the rationale that I used to do it all the time and was fine, and i will again.

long reply, maybe too much for some, I don't know but thanks for asking anyway =)

I know I am not and was not alone and I think that fueled me then and does now because when you are in the grips of mental issues or psych issues, you do feel alone a lot and our worlds treatment of these problems and their stigmatizing of those who are depressed or anything keeps it swept under the rug and you are made to feel a bit inhuman. That is how I felt at least and taking literally 10-13 pills per day did not help that. I felt less human than ever looking at a pill planner every morning and night having to take so much.

good luck with your capacitors. =) I should really learn about electronics sometime soon so I could start getting into circuit bending and building pedals.
When I was having my troubles no one listened. When I was sexually harassed, the principal at my school did nothing. My own parents didn't even do anything.

I too was also picked on constantly by an older brother, because I was always overweight. Just last year, over the course of 6 months, I lost 80 pounds and now weigh 160. That also makes you feel great.

I should also mention this one other incident. Back when I was living in Youngstown,Ohio (northeast ohio), I was assaulted by this man. He had me in a headlock and threw my jaw off. Ever since, my jaw has never been the same. I went to the police and they did nothing just like my parents.

From that day forth, I took matters into my own hands. I guess you could say that it contributed to my introduction to, and involvement in the wonderful world of anarchy. I have never looked back. Actually I should say that I rarely go back to Ohio, even though my parents live there still.

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