funneyst sexual expierience

ive had some pretty funny thing n heard some pretty funny sex stories i was wondering if anyone wud like to share theres my best one is
when we were doin some very bendy positions he fell off is the only way to explain it and hit his head
he hit it so hard he passed out
i then noticed there was blood comin out of his ear and so called the abulance and he gt taken to hsptl completly naked
he was fine btw slight concusion and a bruized ego
he never even gt to finish

ive also broken about 12 beds in my life time most embaressing my friends mothers bed
i still dnt no what they sed happened lol
xxx

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Permalink Reply by lou on August 21, 2009 at 3:01am

A week or two ago my lover and I climbed on top of the roof of this old catholic church downtown. We lit some candles, layed down a blanket and proceeded to fornicate. Then about mid-orgie we smell something awful and realize that one of our sweaters had come into contact with a candle and had turned into a flaming ball of doom. Leaped up to put out the fire and had a good laugh and a memorial service for the poor melted sweater before we could continue anything.

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Permalink Reply by Hollywood on September 26, 2009 at 8:28pm

hahah, I hate this story so much. It's embarrassing for me.

We were together, I was on top and we were getting hot and heavy, ya know? Kissing and licking, but it got cute cause we adored each other (we had those just looking at each other moments and everything). Well, he said something that made me laugh, it was so cute, but then my nose started bleeding like crazy and it spurted all over his face and pillow. He shouted and I covered my face quickly, which was already covered in my nose blood.
I was humiliated. haha, it bled for about an hour after that. Needless to say, we weren't in the mood anymore.

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Permalink Reply by bendy on September 26, 2009 at 9:03pm

hahaha was he all like i thort chicks only bled from one end lol
if i was a man id say shit like that
people wud h8 me!
lol
xxx

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Permalink Reply by Hollywood on September 26, 2009 at 9:13pm

hahaha, he pretty much screamed like a girl to be honest.
I look back and laugh so hard cause he acted like a total wuss
Like, at least it's not period blood on your face
xD

hahaha, I would say shit like that all the time
I do now anyways, maybe I should have been a dude

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Permalink Reply by Fuck you on October 9, 2009 at 6:02am

Ive had alot of funny shit happen but this was my favorite. I met some girl and she drove me to a park by her house(far from where I was staying) well once we got there she starts giving me a blowjob in the car. Suddenly her mother drives up and parks next to us when she sees whats going on she freaks and starts yelling at us. So we get out of the car her mother then yells at her to go home and so she takes off. Well I gotta get home so I turn to her mom and ask if she could give me a ride back to my house. The lady stares at me in shock and then manages to choke out, ''get in the van.'' The whole ride I was trying not to burst into laughter.

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Permalink Reply by Bedlam on October 9, 2009 at 5:08pm

haha! that's hilarious :P
i woulda been sniggering the whole time

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Permalink Reply by Fuck you on October 10, 2009 at 6:03am

It was really funny. What even funnier was that me and that same girl had fucked before and when her mom got home this girl tells her she thinks shes pregnant I guess she was trying to get her mother to pity her or something. Well I get a call from her mom telling me Im a dad only to find out later it was all a bunch of bullshit.

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Permalink Reply by terror on November 3, 2009 at 8:35am

I honestly can't think of anything that funny. :s

Something that makes me laugh though is the first time I had stoned sex with my fiancée and she was ridiculously wet and then was like "am I bleeding?" and proceeded to hop off, turn on the lights and spend about 5 mins inspecting her vag like a drunken monkey, lol.

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Permalink Reply by tofu on November 10, 2009 at 5:18pm

my funniest isn't that funny, but i'm only 16, so i got alot of time. me and my girlfriend were having, and i was on top. we tied her hands to the top bunk (we were in a bunk bed), and i tried to get my head through (with my mohawk up.) basically, the next part was chaos. my hair got stuck on her septum piercing, and she screamed, so i tryed to pull back, and she screamed more. meanwhile, shes tied up so theres nothing she can do about it, and she's screaming and i don't know what the fuck is going on. we managed to resolve it in about a minute, and at the time it was scary, but it was funny too.