How did your parents and family react?

Hey girls -

I was curious to know how your parents and/or other family reacted when they found out you have a hawk?
I just got my hair done 2 days ago. By the way I am 25 yrs old and live on my own with my bf, and not under my parents roof.
My grandparents are having their 55th anniversary party this weekend, and the plans were that my bf and I were going to attend it. We were going to go there with my parents.
Knowing this, I sucked it up and called my parents the night I got it done...I let them know that I have this new mohawk hairstyle, BUT that I don't plan on spiking it up and that I would wear it down around them and the family.
Their reaction? They were utterly shocked, upset, and immediately told me that I am not allowed to attend our family function this weekend! They hadn't even seen any pics of me or anything...just immediately banned me from going! I was so hurt :(
I tried calling my parents last night and that didn't get me anywhere. My mom could barely talk to me and threatened to hang up on me so we ended the call.

I wrote them a long email last night explaining everything out and sent them pics of my hair down, which I think makes a very cute short hairstyle for me. I just hope they read it and understand that I am still the same daughter I always have and a hairstyle won't change that.

I'm tempted to call my grandparents and let them know whats going on and see if my bf and I can visit them on another weekend, but I'm nervous about my grandmother. She's very judgmental just like my parents and I don't want to deal with a repeat issue..

I think as women, we have it harder when we choose to have a punked out hairstyle such as this. Especially when there are family members who are set in their ways that it isn't "ladylike or proper" for a woman to wear their hair in a mohawk style.

Anyway I was just wondering if anyone else had simular reactions as I did from their families and/or how you worked through them?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Hannah Horror on January 29, 2009 at 1:57am

Haha, parent reactions? I got off scott free you see, my mum used to rock a hawk back when she was young and punk. It was huge too, from what I have seen. So she helped me get mine, shaved it and all. (I am doubly lucky as she is a hairdresser, haha).

My dad fell for my ma with a hawk, so he is pretty cool, but said it looked "Sexless" which I think isnt exactly true, but hey.

As for you, you're parents should blow over it, if they are anyway decent humans (which I am assuming they are) they'll get over the shock, as you said, you are still the same daughter.

Good luck with them, and give them time, really, its your choice. And they should respect that, and support you.
There are worse things you could have done :D

Permalink Reply by Amy on January 29, 2009 at 5:40am

my mom is encouraging me to do it, and is even suggesting what colors to dye it. shes just happy im being my own person and even told me that shes expected something like this ever since i was 7 (even if i was just the little nerdy shy girl back then).

my dad and step mom on the other hand, well i havent told them what im doing yet (and as i live 7 hours away, they arent likely to see it until i come home to visit), but i know my dad will flip a lid. he is still determined to make me a business major in little matching stylish outfits. hes become more accepting about what i do to my body since the 6th piercing and 2nd tattoo, as long as i keep my grades in college up. my step mom will probably offer to get it cut and dyed back normal

Permalink Reply by Amy on February 5, 2009 at 9:06pm

well i sent my dad a picture of my hair and he said it was cute... strange, but cute. but then again i sent him the picture on a football night so he was likely rather drunk lol. my mom decided it was the best decision i have ever made regarding my hair and cant wait to visit me so she can touch it. ^.^

Permalink Reply by Saig7 on January 31, 2009 at 6:27am

I actually still live with my rents -- don't make enough money to live on my own boo hoo -- I actually threw up my first hawk the day before Thanksgiving 08 and they just looked at me like I was NUTTY .... but oh well. It gave them a laugh and I met my boyfriend the very next day - hawk and all so ... I think it's an awesome do for chicks.

Permalink Reply by ChArMs on February 4, 2009 at 8:49pm

My mum said it would look good if i did a mohawk she cut some of my hair to do it. When she seen me with it she said it looked cute and nice :D as for other people in the family my auntie doesnt like it lol.

Permalink Reply by Ballisto on February 6, 2009 at 9:34am

I don't have a dad anymore and I don't live with my mother anymore really. I just decided to cut my hair into a hawk about 13 months ago or so, without telling anyone about it. The first person who saw it, was my brother. First thing he said was "what happened to your hair?" and I just smiled and didn't say anything. Next day my mother came over, was all excited and "your brother told me, you have a mohawk now" (I was wearing a towel on my head at that time). She didn't react this much really. She always knew, eventhough I'm a really quiet person, I do whatever I want to do, especially when it comes to hairstyles and clothes.
She actually really likes my hair and helped me shave it and get it in good shape back then, since I cut my hair myself and still needed some help getting a straight stripe on my head. My mother also buys hair dye for me sometimes and also helped my dyeing some months ago. Sure, she would prefer it, if I got a normal haircut, because of my future and jobs and all that stuff. But seeing as I might not be able to do any work really in my life due to health problems, she just gave up on slowly convincing me to maybe get rid of it in the next months.

Permalink Reply by Amy on March 15, 2009 at 11:03pm

you know, everyone was so supportive of whatever i wanted to do with my hair and body until i decided to cut my hair into a hawk. now my mother and her entire side of the family LOVES it. they think its just great that i am so confortable and have enough confidence to do something so extreme. my dad isnt too fond of it. but my stepmom... oooo she HATES it. ive had my hawk cut for about a month now, but my family hadnt seen it until last week. my stepmom and dad basically said, "well we dont really care for it, but if you wear it down, its not that bad." but today, a week after getting somewhat of an acceptance of it, my stepmom texts me telling me that it makes me ugly and to grow it back out right away. i dont expect everyone to like it, but seriously, i would think family would have a little more respect about my feelings. i told her im not about to get rid of it any time soon. i plan on keeping it until i am ready to change my hair. i dont tell people to change their appearance, they shouldnt tell me to change mine

Permalink Reply by LaurenLucyLo on March 16, 2009 at 12:08pm

The first time i cut my hair my mom walked in and didnt notice...so i was like hey mom...like my hair..she takes a closer look and freaked out lol...then a couple hours later we were buzzing the sides, bleaching them blonde and putting the mohawk up :) She kept saying i never would of had the balls to do this when i was your age. a couple of weeks later i met my boyfriend..we fell in love even though girls with mohawks are def not his style lol... i grew it out..then Feb 2009 i cut it again but this time when i buzzed the sides they were VERY close to the skin...and he came over and told me i had issues..it took him a bit to get used to it...just because hed never seen it that short. My brothers think im a freak my sister doesnt care. My grandparents just want me to be happy. My dad/stepmom havnt seen it. Most of my friends love,the guys are like OMG why did you do that..but they like it. My boyfriend said if i cut it into a mohawk we'll have problems...but after a year and almost 5 months he should know that im going to change my hair when i feel like it lol..But i wont goes so short on the sides next time :p

Permalink Reply by Tala Boudica on March 21, 2009 at 4:37am

Well, I worked my mom to the idea slowly. I started out with edgier cuts since I was little, and slowly worked up to a fauxhawk or two. Then I talked to her about getting a braided hawk, but chickened out because damn I lacked the confidence for even that! But now I'm like, "fuck it, I want a real 'hawk or none at all!" and my mom's opinion is, "it's your hair." I get it shaved next week! So, she hasn't seen it yet, but she's agreed that the fauxhawk always suited my face and style more than the curls some people would try and put on me. :3 We haven't gotten the official reaction, probably just a weird face and "I still love you anyway." My aunt lives with us but I honestly don't care what she thinks of it since she has no influence over me. And of course the animals will take it all in stride, I think they're fond of my antics.

The rest of the family all live so far away it won't even matter. I may be visiting some of them Spring Break and THAT will be an interesting experience! We're all a little crazy, but I'll get to see if they have hidden conservative views.

Friends are more my immediate family than most of my immediate family! My one friend was real fond of the braids idea, actually both of them were. They've no comment on my decision to just shave it, lol. My one recent friend is kind of begging me not to do it but that just makes me want it more. I'm doing this because I love them and no one is going to convince me that they're not the more brilliant style in the world. =P I expect extra hard reactions from strangers because of my gender and ethnicity, and I do have to remember the lyrics to the song "I am Not My Hair" to keep from letting my resolve crumble. But it will be worth it because a) I love it and b) I know that some little girl (or maybe boy?) will see it and be inspired and hopefully work up the courage for it just like me. :3 [/sappy]

Permalink Reply by Tala Boudica on March 27, 2009 at 8:23pm

Well, today was the big day! And damn, everyone I told and who saw me thought it looked amazing on me and they loved it (from my friends to my mom, aunt, and grandparents- damn!). Which I was pleasantly surprised about and yet flabbergasted since I had mentally prepared for a verbal beat down. I am just blessed. Happy birthday to me. ^.^

Permalink Reply by gaby on April 14, 2009 at 11:17pm

my mom kept asking me if i was sure when i was gonna get it, but she took me to get my hair cut and everything. she doesn't like it when i put it up but she helped me the first few times. she just sorta makes a face but she says it look cute when it's down. my friends all loved it but one. she's a tad bit more conservative i guess. she saw it up the other day and kept staring at it but by the end of the day she forgot it was even up. another of my friends loves it. he told me i was crazy when i told him i was gonna get it but was so for it. he tells me he hates me and is sooo jealous cuz he wants a mohawk but because his in JROTC (junior recruiting officer training corp) an army program at school he cant. my grandpa hasn't seen my hair yet and i've no idea what he's gonna think, he's kinda old school Mexican but supper nice, so who knows. i don't many people in my family have seen my mohawk and i frankly don't care what they think. most of em are assholes. not all but most.

Permalink Reply by Shayla Jane on April 22, 2009 at 10:08pm

I guess my mom isn't too happy about it, though she'd never tell me to my face. My dad's seen my twice since I got my 'hawk, and both times he's made comments about how I should cut it and how long am I going to keep it like this, blah blah blah. But my parents aren't so strict that they'll totally restrict me from everything. I think they've come to expect me to have a sort of eccentric style.