I could really use some advice right now...please
Now before I actually write what's on my mind allow me to fill in anyone who might read this on what is going on that the moment:
I have been dating a guy for about 7 months...this would be the 8th (meaning February) and it's been log distance. However I did meet up with him in Vegas during my winter break. For five days or so we were always together. He left only twice to help a friend with a break up (I know it sounds bad). But aside from all that when we were together it was so fantastic, he treated me with respect, pretty much how a guy is suppose to treat his girlfriend. When we were together we were both so happy and when the day came to I had to come back to Canada we were both heartbroken. We had a heart breaking teary eyed good bye. He told me he cried the whole way back to LA and even when he was back home. After that we went back to our usual way of talking, on Skype, and his voice sounded so sad and lonely (and from my experience you can't fake that unless you've had acting training which he hasn't). So then every thing is all fine we make plans for spring break, if I can't convince my parents to let me visit him (since i can't pay for my own ticket and what not I have to ask them) he would come up here. We were both so happy with our relationship and every thing was going so smoothly....until I got some texts from a girl claiming to be his girlfriend. Now out of some respect I oddly have for her I'm not going to name her...I'll call A (I should just plaster her name with rude remarks on every site I'm on but I'm going to be the bigger person here and be polite...or as polite as i can be). Now A sent me some texts saying that she's S (I'm not going to name him either...S will do) girlfriend. When I brought this up with him, since I hate confrontation and i wasn't going to have a potential Bitch Fest with her since I don't know her and to be quite honest I'm terrible at arguments (I'm a Flight in the "fight or flight" scenario) and it can't type when I'm pissed or sad and I bit of both that day (not to mention if it did get into with her my phone bill would have been massive). Now he's in LA and I can't call because for the first like month or so we talked on the phone for hours and my dad was not pleased with that since he pays my phone bill. At first I was perfectly fine with ignoring her texts and all that but then she started calling earlier this week and I ignored those as well. But then I left a voice mail and it was from A's number and it was S, my boyfriend (or at least I still hope he's my boyfriend), saying that we need to talk. Which is never a good sign I'm told. So a pick up the next couple times but I don't say anything (remember I'm a flight person and I really didn't want to answer if it was A on the other line). By the third time or so I actually say "hello" but in a really nervous "I'm ready to ball my eyes out at any moment" type of way and with my poor luck or the morning it was A...or at least she had me on speaker and she was just the first one to say anything. So she went on about how she was S's girlfriend and that they have been going out for sometime now, she didn't specify how long and now that I think about it i should have asked, and she was wondering if I knew anything about what's going on. Of course I said "no" because i really didn't know. Since i was on speaker I could hear S crying in the background, as if it was breaking his heart to say was he was going to say (now this is just my opinion on the whole thing so of course I'm going to assume these things but just hear me out, please) A did most of the talking and I'm not quite sure if it's because she didn't want S to mess her plan up (since S told me that I shouldn't believe what she says because she's just trying to get me to leave him and make his life miserable (no I'm not making myself seem all that great it's just I don't remember word per word and it's pretty much just the just of it I've told you)). Now when ever she did allow S to talk it was only on speaker phone and she would let me talk to him in private. To me he sounded like someone who is forced to say things they really don't believe in or don't want to...you know which tone of voice I'm talking about? I'm going to assume you do. Awesome. But as I was saying thats the tone his voice had to me and his was sobbing while he was talking so to me that just reassures my theory that she was blackmailing and forcing him to do this (yes, yes, i know I shouldn't jump to conclusions but i have more facts that points to my conclusion!). When ever he paused to either cry or what ever I could hear A in the background whispering to him as if she were giving him directions on what to say. Now I specifically remember this part and it's also my evidence to support that last fact i gave all of you: "Chelsea...I'm so sorry (i mixed of crying and A telling him something...I couldn't hear what she said but i knew it was her)...........(there was a fairly long pause as if he didn't want to say it...like 5-10 seconds which go by kind of slow during something like this)...I'm sorry A" even more sobbing came from him. She said that she was perfectly fine with him seeing other people just as long as he didn't keep them a secret from her. So I truly don't see why she's upset about all this, she clearly found out (if they were going out), and anyway I'm the one whose truly hurt here. S is clearly not her first boyfriend, she can move on better then I can and can get a new boyfriend really quickly if she wanted to. Were on the other hand, S was my first for pretty much everything, he was my first boyfriend, my first love, my first kiss...just first for everything (I don't know if it's such a good idea saying all that but hopefully some of you can relate and help me out) so you can just imagine how broken up I am about this. He said that it was through between us (he still had that tone of voice I talked about earlier and I swear to you and what ever God yo believe in or what ever will make you believe me she was telling him what to do) but I really don't want to believe what he said, wether it be my gut feeling saying that I shouldn't give up and that my theory is correct or I'm just clinging to any form of hope that he still loves me and that everything he's told me (before that phone call) was true.
I know that this might just be because he's the first (and I really wanted him to be the only) and I know I probably shouldn't have believed everything he has told me but...I wanted to, I wanted to believe him so badly and I still do think that theres a chance that he wants to be with me. Now I'm pretty sure that if your tired of me going about this and that I really hope that you stuck through this but I just have to say a few small things before I finished. S if you read this and I hope you know that's it's about you I just have this to say: I believed you...and whats even worse is that i still have hope....even if its crushed, destroyed and made into dust. I have kept that dust and I'm never letting go because even though I heard it from your own mouth I don't believe that they were your words...because I heard her in the background directing you.
Now for the last time I would like to say this isn't some plea to try to get my first love back (well it might be but that wasn't my intensions) it was more of I need opinions from people who aren't my friends, others who have been in similar situations and pretty much people I haven't chewed off their ear going on about how much I love S (or it may be "loved" but I'm trying to be optimistic about this...sad really doesn't work with me). So what do you think? Me personally I think it's like that disney version of swan lake where the evil girl tricks the prince and then the white sawn has her heart broken and gets shot by a hunter and only the love of the prince can save her and what not. Now I'm not saying that I'm going to jump in front of a hunter or bus or what ever and get myself killed because that would just over all defect my quest to find out what the fuck is going on and find out why she and he would do that....and why won't he call or text me from his phone (which is adding to my suspicions of it's all a devious plot created by A.
Helpful non-pessimistic opinions are welcomed.
I have been dating a guy for about 7 months...this would be the 8th (meaning February) and it's been log distance. However I did meet up with him in Vegas during my winter break. For five days or so we were always together. He left only twice to help a friend with a break up (I know it sounds bad). But aside from all that when we were together it was so fantastic, he treated me with respect, pretty much how a guy is suppose to treat his girlfriend. When we were together we were both so happy and when the day came to I had to come back to Canada we were both heartbroken. We had a heart breaking teary eyed good bye. He told me he cried the whole way back to LA and even when he was back home. After that we went back to our usual way of talking, on Skype, and his voice sounded so sad and lonely (and from my experience you can't fake that unless you've had acting training which he hasn't). So then every thing is all fine we make plans for spring break, if I can't convince my parents to let me visit him (since i can't pay for my own ticket and what not I have to ask them) he would come up here. We were both so happy with our relationship and every thing was going so smoothly....until I got some texts from a girl claiming to be his girlfriend. Now out of some respect I oddly have for her I'm not going to name her...I'll call A (I should just plaster her name with rude remarks on every site I'm on but I'm going to be the bigger person here and be polite...or as polite as i can be). Now A sent me some texts saying that she's S (I'm not going to name him either...S will do) girlfriend. When I brought this up with him, since I hate confrontation and i wasn't going to have a potential Bitch Fest with her since I don't know her and to be quite honest I'm terrible at arguments (I'm a Flight in the "fight or flight" scenario) and it can't type when I'm pissed or sad and I bit of both that day (not to mention if it did get into with her my phone bill would have been massive). Now he's in LA and I can't call because for the first like month or so we talked on the phone for hours and my dad was not pleased with that since he pays my phone bill. At first I was perfectly fine with ignoring her texts and all that but then she started calling earlier this week and I ignored those as well. But then I left a voice mail and it was from A's number and it was S, my boyfriend (or at least I still hope he's my boyfriend), saying that we need to talk. Which is never a good sign I'm told. So a pick up the next couple times but I don't say anything (remember I'm a flight person and I really didn't want to answer if it was A on the other line). By the third time or so I actually say "hello" but in a really nervous "I'm ready to ball my eyes out at any moment" type of way and with my poor luck or the morning it was A...or at least she had me on speaker and she was just the first one to say anything. So she went on about how she was S's girlfriend and that they have been going out for sometime now, she didn't specify how long and now that I think about it i should have asked, and she was wondering if I knew anything about what's going on. Of course I said "no" because i really didn't know. Since i was on speaker I could hear S crying in the background, as if it was breaking his heart to say was he was going to say (now this is just my opinion on the whole thing so of course I'm going to assume these things but just hear me out, please) A did most of the talking and I'm not quite sure if it's because she didn't want S to mess her plan up (since S told me that I shouldn't believe what she says because she's just trying to get me to leave him and make his life miserable (no I'm not making myself seem all that great it's just I don't remember word per word and it's pretty much just the just of it I've told you)). Now when ever she did allow S to talk it was only on speaker phone and she would let me talk to him in private. To me he sounded like someone who is forced to say things they really don't believe in or don't want to...you know which tone of voice I'm talking about? I'm going to assume you do. Awesome. But as I was saying thats the tone his voice had to me and his was sobbing while he was talking so to me that just reassures my theory that she was blackmailing and forcing him to do this (yes, yes, i know I shouldn't jump to conclusions but i have more facts that points to my conclusion!). When ever he paused to either cry or what ever I could hear A in the background whispering to him as if she were giving him directions on what to say. Now I specifically remember this part and it's also my evidence to support that last fact i gave all of you: "Chelsea...I'm so sorry (i mixed of crying and A telling him something...I couldn't hear what she said but i knew it was her)...........(there was a fairly long pause as if he didn't want to say it...like 5-10 seconds which go by kind of slow during something like this)...I'm sorry A" even more sobbing came from him. She said that she was perfectly fine with him seeing other people just as long as he didn't keep them a secret from her. So I truly don't see why she's upset about all this, she clearly found out (if they were going out), and anyway I'm the one whose truly hurt here. S is clearly not her first boyfriend, she can move on better then I can and can get a new boyfriend really quickly if she wanted to. Were on the other hand, S was my first for pretty much everything, he was my first boyfriend, my first love, my first kiss...just first for everything (I don't know if it's such a good idea saying all that but hopefully some of you can relate and help me out) so you can just imagine how broken up I am about this. He said that it was through between us (he still had that tone of voice I talked about earlier and I swear to you and what ever God yo believe in or what ever will make you believe me she was telling him what to do) but I really don't want to believe what he said, wether it be my gut feeling saying that I shouldn't give up and that my theory is correct or I'm just clinging to any form of hope that he still loves me and that everything he's told me (before that phone call) was true.
I know that this might just be because he's the first (and I really wanted him to be the only) and I know I probably shouldn't have believed everything he has told me but...I wanted to, I wanted to believe him so badly and I still do think that theres a chance that he wants to be with me. Now I'm pretty sure that if your tired of me going about this and that I really hope that you stuck through this but I just have to say a few small things before I finished. S if you read this and I hope you know that's it's about you I just have this to say: I believed you...and whats even worse is that i still have hope....even if its crushed, destroyed and made into dust. I have kept that dust and I'm never letting go because even though I heard it from your own mouth I don't believe that they were your words...because I heard her in the background directing you.
Now for the last time I would like to say this isn't some plea to try to get my first love back (well it might be but that wasn't my intensions) it was more of I need opinions from people who aren't my friends, others who have been in similar situations and pretty much people I haven't chewed off their ear going on about how much I love S (or it may be "loved" but I'm trying to be optimistic about this...sad really doesn't work with me). So what do you think? Me personally I think it's like that disney version of swan lake where the evil girl tricks the prince and then the white sawn has her heart broken and gets shot by a hunter and only the love of the prince can save her and what not. Now I'm not saying that I'm going to jump in front of a hunter or bus or what ever and get myself killed because that would just over all defect my quest to find out what the fuck is going on and find out why she and he would do that....and why won't he call or text me from his phone (which is adding to my suspicions of it's all a devious plot created by A.
Helpful non-pessimistic opinions are welcomed.
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